2011
After completing a Bachelor of Science Degree in Integrated
Humanities through Northern Arizona University I felt like I was safer on the
couch. Funny thing is that lately the couch has felt a bit more comfortable
than life. This may not seem unusual
to anyone, but as someone with an often paralyzing disability I was again
forced to redefine my limitations. Do I have any limitations? How do I live life to its fullest while
caring for a body that loves to malfunction at the slightest imbalance?
In July I found myself faltering with the stresses of event
production. Usually this lands me in an
illness state and it did just that.
After a brief stint in the hospital I was sent home to regain my strength
which occurred fairly rapidly. Days blur
into months as they often do for everyone and suddenly it was the end of
September. I had signed up to attend a
women’s retreat for the first time in years, confident that I was feeling
strong physically yet needed a recharge spiritually. I had joined my mom for shopping and lunch before
a check up at the doctor on Thursday before leaving on Friday for a weekend of
serenity. At JC Penny’s I felt a bit
light headed and had to sit down fairly suddenly. My mom took me to the doctor where they
brought out a wheelchair for me to sit in after complaining of dizziness. It is times like that when a medical office
seems a place of fear, and everyone present is glad they are not as sick as me.
With a blood pressure of 80/54 it was suggested that I head to the
IV Therapy department to receive some fluids in an attempt increase my blood
pressure. This is the land of chemotherapy where the really sick folks go to live
or die. I have been a guinea pig on chemotherapy before in an attempt to slow the disease process. These caustic drugs destroy a person making
veins twisted and scarred. I am going on a
retreat tomorrow, no matter what.
I am not sure how long I sat there while the experts in difficult
intravenous placement stuck me with a needle, attempting to get what is called
a “flash” signifying success in finding a vein.
I had learned long ago how to achieve a trance like meditative state,
removed from the horrors of the present reality. Over and over, nurse after nurse, they tried
and failed. My mom said she counted at least thirty times. Thank God for meditation.
“We can’t get an IV started. No. Yes we have had four different
nurses try including one from neonatal ICU. Okay we will send her over to
emergency.” Yes Doctor. The human pincushion is on her way.
As I lay on one of the few couches in the local emergency room my
mother located the phone number to the retreat organizers so I could call and
cancel my reservation. Waiting to be
seen in the emergency room is a valid reason to receive a refund though not
very conducive to serenity.
1998
Only ten percent of patients suffering with SLE (as Systemic Lupus
Erythmatosis is called) are challenged with central nervous system and brain
involvement. Living with pain became a
constant state of being. Doctors are
often unable to cope with a patient in chronic pain, yet the interesting thing
about pain and pain medication is that real pain precludes a patient becoming
addicted. During this time of scary shit diagnosis and body malfunction I had a
doctor. A skin faced angel to borrow a
friend’s phrase.
“You practice medicine Dr. It is not yet perfected."
“Acupuncture is not proven to do anything other than appease the
patient and drain the wallet,” he said looking serious.
He knew that I was on the waiting list to see
Dr. Andrew Weil at University of Arizona Medical Center outside of Tucson. Finding a way to alleviate and cure illness
by combing natural, eastern, and western interventions had become my only
hope. I refuse
to take morphine even time released morphine!
After one injection in the
emergency room kept me from being admitted to the land of wind wept asses, and I
was able to go home and balance the family checkbook. Finally I can think clearly and perform basic math! Pain creates stress and stress creates a flare
with chronic diseases. I was in fear of
addiction. Does taking this miracle make me less sober? Not any more than a choice to allow a practitioner
of Chinese Medicine make me a junkie! Anything that will help me find that elusive word "well" is worth a shot. Thus my livelong gratitude to the eastern philosophy and medical approach was born.
For more information on the program in Tucson and how to find a practitioner in your area follow the link -
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