Faith

1999

People can take for granted the little things in life are simple to accomplish.  I had applied for disability insurance after being dropped like a five million pound hot potato by my insurance company.  This after finding a $7000 error on the part of Navapache Medical Center Emergency Room coding for some heart medicine administered during the first fifteen minutes of a heart attack.  I am NOT having a heart attack at this point in my life!  I had finally begun to feel better after being put on the magical drug Prednisone.  Interestingly it is the one pharmaceutical that is proven to reduce serious inflammation and brain swelling; its side effects are horrific though.  Brain swelling and scarring is considered serious I guess?  Discovered in 1954 scientists found that cortisone could be microbiologically oxidized to prednisone by the bacterium Corynebacterium simplex.  The side effects include softening of the bone due to calcium depletion, thinning of the epidermis, weight gain, and the “moon face” that marks anyone on long term steroid use.  What they, them, or collectively known as “the medical profession” neglect to discuss with patients is the emergence of the evil twin, psycho steroid bitch. 

I had driven my daughter to the mall in Mesa as a treat getting ready for school.  We began wandering around the mall and went up to the second floor.  As we got ready to go back down I watched a seven year old jump on and grab the rail holding on, looking back at me and smiling. I walked up to the moving staircase and looked at the slope of slats moving like a glass gray missing definition and depth.  I balked digging in and refusing to move.

“Come on mom!”

I stood there shaking my head back and forth slowly, not moving.

“Hurry!”

Suddenly she was standing next to me tugging at my hand, trying to move me forward. 

“What’s wrong mom?”

I could not figure a way to explain to a kid what I was trying to comprehend that I didn’t even understand.  The escalator was like a sheet of gray ice sloping down to the bottom of the mall.  Frozen like the downward ski slope I was staring at, my daughter did not know what to do.

“Close your eyes.  Take my hand”

I did as she asked and stepped out in faith.